| Good year good fun |
[Dec. 31st, 2009|12:33 pm] |
Okay haven't been blogging properly these past few weeks/days. A quick summary of everything: 1. Xmas was good.
2. School is good.
3. Friends are good.
4. Love is good.
5. Mother is bad.
6. Money is bad.
7. Body is bad.
8. Health is bad.WHOA my summary skills not bad huh!! HAHAHA   The day Angel did her tattoo.   Alex! Who never fails to make me laugh. I can't wait to move on to 2010! 2009 has been great, a lot of bad shit happened but I loved the good shit too! YAY I can't wait for tonight. Spending it with people who you really care about, and who care about you too. This is officially my last post for this year and for this space. I'm so excited. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 30th, 2009|12:09 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  thankful | ] |
Days like this are peaceful and slow. I don't know if it's painful or slow. I need motivation so badly. I remember how we used to say we'd promote tgthr and take As tgthr and all that shit. Seems so far away now. But that isn't the point. My mind's so weak I can fuck it anywhere. Things are going downdowndown, No point hiding it anymore.
I'm praying for a blast on New year's eve so I can get wasted and mentally kill myself. Like a small flame you need to extinguish it completely to feel the cold, painful darkness.
But hey somebody made my night, all right (K) heehee :)
Tomorrow will be better.
Give up.
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| No one stays |
[Dec. 27th, 2009|11:37 am] |
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Omg! I just realized that I've been really stupid. Everyone lies about this omg. Why do I keep believing in it every time ah. Shit I am so dumb. It's supposed to be hurtful but I'm starting to find it a joke. Oh ya I am the big joke. HAHA. |
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| Ouch |
[Dec. 26th, 2009|10:13 pm] |
"I come back next week k."
"For what, I don't need you here."- All right Empty is going to try and pull her MIA trick. See ya around. |
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| Alone in a crowded room |
[Dec. 26th, 2009|01:39 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | mellow | ] |
Met M first then went to V's house today. I love the curry it's so yummy! And spicy too. Last night was good ^^ If I can do this every year it would be nice. Of course I would prefer a less boring environment with reduced sexual innuendos in the air. Watched these today.  and  I think everyone should watch Vertige it's a damn bloody heart dropping show. REALLY and it's based on a true story. Gah I just had supper I am so full :( Oh ya before I forget, MERRY CHRISTMASSY EVERYONE!We always think we know better.
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 24th, 2009|05:47 pm] |
Look what came just in time for Xmas!! Frigging cool shit.  Not to mention it's 3G. Holicrap so cool. Damn flat also! |
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| Hold |
[Dec. 22nd, 2009|12:25 pm] |
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-
Jersey just got colder and
I'll have you know I'm scared to death
That everything that you had said to me was just
A lie until you left
Now I'm hoping just a little bit stronger
Hold me up just a little bit longer
I'll be fine, I swear Met Lulu last night ;) Will miss her!! Hurry come back.
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 21st, 2009|10:46 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | comfortable | ] |
Maybe I can be saved after all :)
-
And who knows what will happen; Wait.
Whether in silence or in pain.
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| I know I'm crazy but it's so hard to pretend |
[Dec. 18th, 2009|11:30 am] |
If timing's everything
Stop telling me you're taking your time
I know you're anxious
But you're running your mouth like you're five years old again
It's so hard to pretendLike I know everything
I dont know anything
I wanted you to see
That I got nothing I'll sit back and I'll watch the show
I'll lay awake and I'll watch the stars as they collide My eyes they do see
I don't breathe the way I used to
My lips they don't sing
I won't be the way I was on that night Steady breathing is all I can advise
To a girl with a sweet tooth for revenge
I know I'm crazy but it's so hard to pretend Was the night everybody agreed I was wrong about you
I told them you were being so strong
I knew you were a liar
I knew you were a liar from the start Don't treat me like I'm playing a game
Cause baby I don't want to lose
Baby I don't want to risk it all for you - (L) the song. Anyway it's almost the new year. I'm leaving this space. Starting a new journal once again. One more post and I'm done for the year.
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 18th, 2009|12:23 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  insomniac | ] |
I don't wanna sleep. I want time to pass quickly so I can step out of the house and smoke. It isn't a joke anymore. It's not fun or lovely anymore.
If you are up at 3 am and you are bored. Please text me. I will probably reply I can't sleep.
Damn I need a girlfriend. |
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| Never |
[Dec. 17th, 2009|04:59 pm] |
Right. - Days like this are to live for. The weather is awesome.
Sally: Eh do you have sticks?
Mary: No finished mine.
Sally: Then why you come and find me for!! No sticks do what sial. Lol anyway, I realized I take a lot of things too seriously, should really step back a bit. Anyway things always look better from afar ( Angie's Theory).
"You see ah that guy, you stand here he not cute. But if you staaaand here. Whaaa DAMN cute lor!" HAHA. Omg I miss Jing and Mel :( I haven't had any h2h talks w people for so long. Bitch come back quick too. I cancelling my trip for you leh! Ok gna meet V now byeeeeee. |
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| I love Eniko Mihalik |
[Dec. 15th, 2009|09:44 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  numb | ] |
  - I miss you Melissa :( Anyway the weather gave me a headache today. I ended up not studying and trying to pass time by sleeping it off. Eliza, Alex, Cherm and Eugene were so funny. They were so afraid I'd faint or smt and tried to lighten my load of thing, yada yada. HAHA thank you guys :) Have been doing Amelia more than often nowadays, really need to get it on with something else. Don't want to feel like fuck again gah of recent events, Char b hurry come back pleasepleaseplease. Tomorrow's goal is to study!!And I have decided, "Free and easy laaaa bruuuuutherrr!" HAHAH (Y) Our dead end. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 15th, 2009|02:37 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | shocked | ] |
I am sorry,
for being such an over thinker, troublemaker, misunderstander, waste of space, waste of text messages, waste of breath, waste of thoughts, waste of feelings, waste of effort.
I am reduced to a state whereby I don't know how to proceed any further, fearing I, being me, will only aggravate the situation. It was good not thinking about it, just like how I used to think running away will solve problems. Funny, your solution is only the same. Or perhaps it is really sadly just me. How I always make everything seem so complex, when the truth is staring in my face. We have changed. Or had I always just been another like how you make me feel now.
I should have known better than to wake the dragon deep in its slumber. Amazing how I can be so bothered too, when I thought I had let go of all strings. And how many times I had pretended it was nothing then.
Let it be real this time.
Finally, for being a waste of space.
Good day and do not bother me anymore.
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| Down |
[Dec. 11th, 2009|11:48 pm] |
 - It wasn't as good as I had hoped it'd be. In fact, the one with the guys was more enticing. If not, it was down right demoralizing, disconnected and close to being disastrous. I guess maybe it's just me. Or maybe it's just us, all segregated and out of place. But I like Coach he is so funny :) The next one might be better. There are so many things I'd like to do. But I can't clear my head for a clear way. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 10th, 2009|09:29 pm] |
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You started it, you end it. I am cold and unbothered, heartless and scary.
Stick and stones may break my bones, but your words will never touch me.
-
Sometimes I forget what it's like to be really fake, to hide your agenda and to execute the daylights out of yourself. I have been too transparent. It's not good. I don't like it, I don't like to be readable.
Anyway training starts tomorrow, I can't wait to play!! Omg I will be laughing at myself no kidding. These few days I haven't been studying successfully :( It feels feel without any dancing, I keep listening to the songs and bobbing my head along with them. I feel so obsessed with my weight I can just strangle myself. I'm gna be fat and disgusting by January GAH. Okay, I am gna start swimming and running.
I realized my body takes months to recover from a wound/cut/bruise. It's highly annoying, I think it's because I don't take in enough nutrients. Irregular meals, skipped meals, small meals, close-to-non-existent meals.
Yeah no wonder. |
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| Girl, why you teasing me? |
[Dec. 8th, 2009|09:40 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | numb | ] |
1. Day 2 and I'm not dying just yet.
2. I'm thinking of getting a new livejournal or stick to my Xanga.
3. Studying was unproductive despite the fact that I was abandoned :(
4. Char b came with food for me, so sweet hor.
5. Met V at our new haunt and I (L) the surroundings.
6. Yay I am gna see my Baby for dinner tomorrow!
7. And Mel is leaving on Friday :(
8. But K is coming back on Sat hurray.
-
How much do you think about me? |
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| Fantasy |
[Dec. 7th, 2009|11:57 pm] |
I am back @ my Daddy's. I don't know what to say I am completely numb. Throw me around, it doesn't hurt or matter anymore. -     LOVE MY EYEBROWS RIGHT HAHAHAHA  Awesome threesome ^^ Plus one later on KE KE KE  HAHA I don't know why I look so funny. None of the hiphop pics, realized that I didn't take any. I had a rough day. Good night :) |
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| Mixed. |
[Dec. 2nd, 2009|12:44 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  exhausted | ] |
So disappointed in myself, and everything.
I guess this is prolly the last thing I have. It's within my control, and I still have time. It doesn't lie in anyone else's hands, and this time, for a change, I get to decide how I want to feel about it, how I don't abandon this and how I know it won't leave me. At least I know this time I am stuck with it. And it is up to me to prove myself right or wrong. It's the last change I have to feel good about myself. The last thing I own.
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| Everyone is only out to play |
[Nov. 30th, 2009|12:18 am] |
 - Finally spending some time with K tomorrow but I don't know whether it's something K will look forward to though. Then finally gonna swim YAY HAHA and you will never guess where we contemporary dancers have decided to crash to swim ^^ I had fun at Terminal 3 today, including the parts when Ardella just refused to get off my nerves. She keeps singing the song "Tik tok" and I HATE THAT SONG! So annoyingly funny HAHAH. Not forgetting me and Jing going up the coming down travelator (We were too lazy to take the lift) and laughing non stop. Oh well hope tomorrow will be a good day. It will never be the same anymore. |
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| 1 2 3 |
[Nov. 28th, 2009|12:40 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | tired | ] |
Finally bought something I might actually like after so long! Went to meet Jing and M and V. Went food hunting HAHA I am gna be fatter man. As usual we left the unglam shots to be taken at the end of our time together.   KE KE KE Omg I just realized I see Jing EVERY DAY. She's gna get soooo sick of me HAHAHAH. It passes and freezes. |
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| Excitement |
[Nov. 25th, 2009|11:26 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | very satisfied | ] |
Truth is, how can you miss someone you don't even spend time in the first place with?
I wouldn't.
You got me going high. |
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| Nightwalks |
[Nov. 25th, 2009|09:15 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | very excited | ] |
Because he takes pleasure in her, because his pleasure is unfailing, an affection has grown up in him for her. To some degree, he believes, this affection is reciprocated. Affection may not be love, although it can very often be mistook for it, but it is at least it's cousin. Call him selfish, but it is only true that nothing is fair in love or war.
She on the other hand, does not realize the seriousness of the situation until she has one foot deep in the grave. Love is a toy she owns but does not dare to play with. She, while following his actions as she is led by, believes that she is better off not knowing his inhibitions. Perhaps if she placed her heart somewhere else, it would be cared for unduly. And until then, she chooses to live religiously in the facades they have created.
!Sugar rush |
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| I remember the way you taste |
[Nov. 23rd, 2009|10:50 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Two is better than one - Boys Like Girls | ] |
 Sometimes I can be so confusing. I know what I want but I don't know how to put it. I wish someone knew me better than I know myself. Wishy washy depreciation.- Sigh and my mother upsets me.
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 22nd, 2009|10:11 pm] |
Have you guys checked out Victoria Secret's 2010? The models are so disappointing. We are talking underwear here, who gives a damn about how skinny you are? VS placed Anja and Chanel in it. I love them, but they are so far from lingerie models. They're just too skinny with no curves at all. Ah skeletal girls scare me. I like skinny but this is lingerie man. I want sexy, not scrawny. The theme's a little off too. Man I miss the Justin Timberlake VS Show.   Dance is less than 2 weeks away and I realized quite a lot of people are coming to watch it. I'm crossing my fingers things will go right. I hate disappointments and I hate more to disappoint. I don't know why I'm looking forward to moving forward. Ciao. Hold your liqour, hold your tongue. |
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| Rollercoasterzzz |
[Nov. 21st, 2009|12:31 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  silly | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | It isn't me - The Color Fred | ] |
I am so tired I tried to plug my ipod plug into my handphone :|
Anyway another eventful day :) I found a 7things (or people) to be happy about.
1. I don't want to brag but  HAHAH beat that!
2. I have such wonderful friends: Angel Melissa Jing Jing Eliza, who have been really great especially Jing who is always there to provide tissues and Angel, flying down whenever I need someone to sit with me.
3. Haiqal who never fails to make my school day less boring. 4. An awesome daddy who sent me a really touching message last week that made me cry. 5. An amazing mommy who packs my lunchbox every day. 6. __ Blast ^^ 7. The fact that I haven't gotten bitten by a mosquito in AGES, 8. and finally You. Hope we won't drift anymore 
All right Imma go sleep practice again tomorrow he he heh! Eyecandyyyy okay kidding omg I high kthxbye!
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 19th, 2009|11:33 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | sore | ] |
This week has been Grow-Fat-Week. The official first and only the last, hopefully ): I have a little book where I record everything I eat but this week is .. Sigh. Anyway I have been really busy with dance, the company is enjoyable. Felt slightly stressed over the timings today though, I don't know why. -     Okay I am off to bed. I have something to look forward to tomorrow, finally :) Promises? |
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| Not the same way I want you |
[Nov. 16th, 2009|10:25 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | disoriented | ] |
It took me such a long time to figure this out, when it was breathing into my face all along.
At least now I am sure what not to lean on :)
YAY STUDY HARDER EUPHORIA!
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| Did I mention I hate waterproof mascara? |
[Nov. 14th, 2009|11:35 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | sad | ] |
Road show @ Orchard just now. I peeled off my face to act like a mad bitch. HAHA actually no it wasn't that terrifying. But because of dance rehearsals I'm missing dinner all the time. Kinda loving it I hope, if I don't lose weight then :@ I will post the pics when I get them.
Fuggingtired gna crash. Nightz!
Everyone makes mistakes, mine was to be too dependent.
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| Different |
[Nov. 13th, 2009|04:55 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | fshagged | ] |
I am so tired. Have to finish my I & R before presentation. Everyone has been so busy, I haven't seen Eliza or talked to her properly the whole week. Every day has been PW, PW shit, skip lessons for PW, skip lessons regardless of PW, then dance practice and home.
I really can't wait for the freedom to come. But we'd be getting results back next week ahmygad. A few days ago I faced hell about my results >:( I just hope it all goes well. As for dance practices, I hurt my back and shoulder HAHA. Oh well whatever I don't expect nothing less.
Take it all in to swallow.
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 10th, 2009|09:25 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | disappointed | ] |
What's up with the boys and their Bros before Hoes shit.
Anyway Jing, Darren and I gna take part in Rp's dance concert :) Omgah I am so scared HAHAH shuddup Euphoria. Ok chowowsai ^^
Hmm a lot of things don't matter anymore :) |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 9th, 2009|09:19 am] |
Finally sitting next to Haiqal today :) Super no mood for class man gah. Chong's endless droning accompanied by the chaos caused by the grass cutters.. Heavenly.
Jean was over at my place on Saturday! We watched Taken. Fantastic movie really. Heart touching too. Headed to town to meet the girls, I saw a top I LOVE >:(
Sunday was spent on Dan, Eliza, Bruce and the other guys. Reached home with a fever, ahmygad. I need to really recover lah.
Kbye.
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| Stagnant |
[Nov. 4th, 2009|08:56 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  disbelieving | ] |
Okay I take back what I said about happy things in the earlier post. Kim Kardashian's boobs look pornagraphic now >:(
HAHAH
Anyway school was an ultimate bore. I was hyperactive for half an hour and that was it, my self-made highlight for the day. How pathetic right. Been trying to use more energy on things more worthwhile like exercising and Jodi Picoult's books. At least during those moments my mind is doing something happy!
Sigh I am still unwell.
When you don't expect anything, you don't get disappointed. |
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| So damned |
[Nov. 3rd, 2009|11:01 pm] |
Only of happy things. I found my first distraction last night. Here's another:   Happy things. |
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| Ion |
[Oct. 31st, 2009|12:16 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  confused | ] |
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| Ffffff ever |
[Oct. 28th, 2009|06:20 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | okay | ] |
Sick but feel like eating: - Macs' hotcakes
- KFC
- Hotdogs
- Tom yam hor fun
- Vanilla Haagen Dazs
- Crystal Jade's duck noodle
- Crystal Jade's chicken congee
- Its fdelicious hot and sour soup
- Tempura udon
- Unagi bento
I miss Mel and Angel sigh :( I miss eating like a pig leh Mel.
But poor people shall not waste money on food.
Anyway Halloween is around the corner, Angie is excited HAHA.
She says it's the only one night you don't get slammed for dressing up as a slut ^^
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 27th, 2009|05:21 pm] |
 - Love seeing you, love :) |
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| Distraught heart |
[Oct. 25th, 2009|09:31 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | ftired | ] |
Ash/Ben/Skan's Party today was awesome! Videos and pics when Charis decides to put it up.
THANKYOU CHARIS YUHANG AND DARREN!
Ice skating day:  Fel's Birthday Party: More on Fb :) CIAO. |
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| Underwater caves |
[Oct. 22nd, 2009|09:50 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Fireflies - Owl City | ] |
It was a bad idea from the beginning.
Everyone should watch Gg, I love the way Chuck cares for Blair, so sweeet ahhh. I want my own Chuck :(
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 20th, 2009|06:08 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  dying | ] |
- I hate people who say "I miss you" and don't do any fucking little shit about it.
- I could have died and where were you.
- Saw this on flashlightbatteriess @ blogspot.  |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 17th, 2009|10:42 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Love me or Leave me - Peggy Lee | ] |
And I come to see that as a kind of blessing. To love without loving - It's not so bad once you get used to it. To be far beyond harm, where nothing can hurt you and nothing can be taken away from you - is that really such a bad place to be? There's a lot to be said for the meaningless relationship. The meaningless relationship is hugely underrated. -   I had some pretty wild fun last night. Awesomely good to welcome feeling back, if only it wasn't accompanied by nausea. More nights to come!! And one of the conversations: Z: I am so gone if someone rapes me I wouldn't know.
T: Ohh I am sure you will like it ^^
Oh yeah man. I know she will HAHAH. Lovely. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 16th, 2009|01:42 pm] |
- It's not fair. Every time you leave, you expect me to love you the same when you return. It's not fair. I don't deserve this shit.
- I don't know which is more comforting, knowing you'll love me no matter what, or knowing while you love someone more than me, you will still stay with me.
Anyway
Happy birthday, Ashy Loooo!
Okay okay I'll hurry go down now.
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 15th, 2009|11:32 pm] |
So to motivate myself to exercise, I decided to get a new swimsuit HEE ^^ Anyway today went to Dayspring, dropped by at dad's place. Saw my little cutepie of a brother, then met V and M. And so on. Oh thankyou Melzziefuzzie for cute socks, I love!
-  Rianne Ten Haken .. I know right. I need new lingerie! And then there's you.
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| Don't pull me lower |
[Oct. 14th, 2009|06:51 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Ridin' Spinners - Three 6 Mafia (ft. Lil' Flip) | ] |
Math paper was bad today. I knew how to do it but I mixed up the steps. Kept coming up with weird answers ): But nevertheless hurray the stress is gone. Gonna start chinese revision though ): HAHAH surprising right! I KNOW RIGHT.
I need to find something to do for a week! I watched Slumdog and Mall cop today :)
So here are the things I thought of. If you my dear friend can help me out, please do!
1. Decorate my room (or try to anyway)
2. Wrap my story books up in plastic wrap
3. Do some visiting
4. Get a job ke ke ke
5. Have a movie marathon!! I would love some company.
6. I K E A
7. Picnic (Proper picnic)
8. Swim HAHA finally
I don't know how anyone can. |
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determined
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